Are you lucky, lucky, lucky?

Health and Happiness - over 50

This week I was interviewed by Professor Joyce Harper from UCL for a new research study and book she’s writing about health and happiness over 50. I hope the number still makes this post relatable to anyone who’s younger. But I am. (Over 50). In fact, whenever I give a public talk I say: 'I’m a 53 years young author, arts producer and adventure activist.’ Then I say: ‘I like alliteration. I like lists. Especially lists of three – it’s my favourite number!’ And the audience looks at me quizzically - as it’s the first thing they hear me say - but I’ve found that discombobulation makes for a good opening. It gets people listening.

Joyce (aka Professor Harper)’s first question was: ‘How has your life been up to the age of 50?’. I searched for an adjective. And the word that bubbled up unbidden was: ‘Lucky’.

Lucky? Lucky! Lucky???!!! For a lot of my life, I’ve felt ‘Unlucky’. But suddenly I am describing myself as its antonym. What the f*** happened?

Well, many things. Too many things to write about now because my intention is to keep these posts short. But it got me thinking (again) about my decision - when I turned 50 - to make this my ‘decade of joy’. I’ve written about this before on Substack – in my ‘2024 New Year’s Suggestions’ post and ‘Are You Cooking Your Joy?’ post. And what I’ve been wondering is that if you prioritize your joy, is it hard not to end up feeling lucky?

So here’s a little list of three of the biggest joys in my life. Written, with love, in the hope they will make you think of your joy too.

1. Food

Yes, the ‘F’ word. I know I mention it a lot. And I do wonder whether it was a coincidence that I spoke to Joyce just a few days after I had one of the best meals of my life. At the Michelin starred Mana in Manchester. Highly recommended. Here are a some of my favourite pictures, just to give you a taste.

2. Travel

Especially visiting somewhere I’ve never been before. I am an obsessive country-counter and not ashamed to admit it. If you’ve been reading this Substack for a few weeks, you’ll know I went to Mauritus over new year and next month I’m heading to Monaco for a few days. It will be my country number 50. I can’t wait. Yes, I will be going to the casino. Yes, I will be visiting (Princess) Grace Kelly’s grave. And oh yes, I will be eating another Michelin meal!

3. Time on my own

I think social connection is vital. This is something I also say when I give talks. I think it’s one of the reasons that most people want to have their own children – because family is probably the quickest route to social connection. I’m sure it’s one of the reasons I wanted my own family so much and why - for a long time - I felt so unlucky that I couldn’t create it (more on that in all my books). And you don’t just need to take my word, it’s been corroborated by the longest running study on human happiness, conducted by Harvard University. Nevertheless – I’ve realised that whilst I do need social connection, I get my joy from being on my own.

In fact, one of my aims for my fifties is to try and create the perfect life balance of time-with-other-people, and time-alone-with-me. I think we all need both in our lives, and the goal is to find your own perfect balance. I didn’t get it quite right last year - I spent too much time with friends and family (sorry friends and family I do love and need you too). So this year, I’m making an effort to have more joy alone. That’s why I went to Mana on my own – and spent four hours of solitary edible bliss (I didn’t just sit there eating btw, I put on my headphones and watched Greta Gerwig’s adaption of Louisa May Alcott’s Little Women). It’s also why I’m going to Monaco on my own – for four days of pure personal pleasure.

I know, I’m very lucky.

PS. I loved the epigraph that Greta Gerwig used at the beginning of her film. Quoting Louisa May Alcott’s words it read: ‘I’ve had a lot of troubles so I write jolly tales’ It could be the epigraph for this Substack!

PPS. ‘Lists of Love’ is a new reader-supported Substack publication by me. At the moment all my subscribers (paid and free) are receiving weekly posts to celebrate its launch. But from the end of March only paid subscribers will receive weekly posts, and free subscribers will receive monthly roundups. So if you love receiving ‘Lists of Love’ in your inbox weekly, please consider going paid (and buying me a monthly cup of coffee and half a doughnut – see my About Page for what that means). But if less is more, then I hope you’ll stay as a free subscriber. Either choice is fine, and brings me joy! For all subscription details see here.